Oh the guilt...

One of the hardest things I've had to learn about losing weight, is not to stress about what I eat or feel guilty for enjoying an occasional treat. Last summer, I got into doing weightloss challenges to keep myself motivated. The challenge that I signed up for was one where everyone pitched $25 into a pot and at the end of the 12-week challenge, the top 3 people with the highest percentage of weightloss split the pot. I'm competitive, so I thought it sounded like a really good way for me to keep losing. The first time I did the challenge, I started out really strong and lost weight quickly, but the as the weeks went by and it got closer to the end, I'd get increasingly focused on winning and increasingly worried that I wasn't losing enough. By the end of the challenge, even though I watched every single calorie that I put in my mouth, I followed all of the healthy guidelines, exercised everyday and drank more than enough water, I was struggling to lose just two lbs a week.

It frustrated me to no end, since I had no idea what was going on. The more frustrated I got, the more I just slid backwards. My coach had no tips for me, my powerlifter husband had no ideas... I was at a complete loss for where to turn. I ended up dropping from 1st place to 3rd and while I still lost 34 lbs in that challenge, my competitive self was crushed. In the second challenge I competed in, the same thing happened. I started out strong and slowed down, despite the fact that nothing in my diet or exercise regimen had changed. I ended up dropping from 1st to 2nd by the end of that one and only lost 14 lbs. After that, I decided to take a break and work on maintaining good habits without the threat of a weekly weigh-in.

A few weeks later, my husband and I went on our honeymoon to Puerto Rico for a week. It was the first time in 6 months that I had relaxed and not worried about every bite I took or every mile I logged. I swam, I snorkeled, I kayaked and hiked the rainforest... and I enjoyed the food. All of it. Stews, pastries, sandwiches, desserts, cocktails - I fully expected to gain 10 pounds by the time I went home. But, to my pleasant surprise, when I stepped on my scale the next morning, I had lost 3 lbs during my week of relaxation! Imagine, months of dieting, working out, counting every calorie, just to try and lose a single pound, and when I finally relaxed - 3 POUNDS! Who says you can't lose weight on vacation?

Finally, the reason for all of that frustration just clicked. Stress was the culprit behind my weight gain. I started doing some research online and discovered that stress causes the same chemical reactions in the body as the hormones from your period or pregnancy. It facilitates the storage of fatty tissue and causes water retention. Learning to relax, while still exercising and not completely pigging out, created a better balance then logging miles and freaking out over every calorie.

A few months ago, I read an article in Shape Magazine. It was an interview with supermodel Brooklyn Decker about how she stays in such good shape. She said something in it that I'll never forget, because it was so incredibly insightful. She was discussing food guilt and how it was something that she had learned to deal with. She said, "It's not the brownie that makes you fat. It's the guilt." It's so true. One pound of fat is 3500 calories. A brownie is what? 200? 300 calories? That's a tiny fraction of a pound. The stress over eating it is what causes you gain weight. Not the brownie itself. (Not that you should go brownie binging, but the ocassional brownie is not going to cause to blow up like a balloon.)

So, that's what I've been working on lately. I've been learning to indulge in some of the things I love without feeling bad about it. If I want ice cream (one of my major downfall foods), I get it. I just make sure that I walk to the ice cream shop and back and that I get one scoop in a cup. It's enough to kick my craving, there's no unnecessary calories from a cone, and I've burned it off by the time I get home. All of that helps me feel fine about the indulgence, and I'm still losing weight.

So next time you want to treat yourself, do it. But do it knowing that you work hard, you live healthy and you deserve a little treat in your life. You earned it, and you should never feel bad about it, because, "It's not the brownie that makes you fat. It's the guilt."